n i g h t i n g a l e s h i r a z / blog
you'll see my smile looks out of place...

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all about eve.

tomorrow is another first-day, at another new-job.  i feel like i have done this so many times.  enough times to know this part -- my favorite part -- like an old evening friend.

this is night-before-newness, and it is always perfect.  like a bolt of material from the Karachi cloth market (before you have taken it to your ever-temperamental tailor -- for him to ruin beyond repair, because he thought you actually *wanted* mutton-chop sleeves this year, or something...).  like the held-breath in your throat six milliseconds before a first kiss.  like an apartment right before you've moved in.  this is the part that is always, always good.

maybe there is something about standing on precipices, that enables us to enjoy the two-faced Janusness of transition points.  what have you seen, what will you see.

***

a year ago this weekend, we celebrated my brother's thirty-sixth birthday at the Dynasty in Karachi.  my father was in his element.  i remember the fish in black bean sauce.  my father sat to my left.  Mareena kept insisting i take pictures.  i had brought my camera, but i wasn't using it.  i didn't want to take pictures.  i didn't want to have to take pictures.  there would be so many more opportunities for pictures -- especially, somehow, maybe, if i didn't take them that night.  the chef came out to say hello to Mr. Shiraz.  soon, it will be a whole year.

***

tomorrow i go back to Circo Massimo, back to the employer who first brought me to Rome three-and-a-quarter years ago.  if it were not for the United Nations, i would still be in Pisa, maybe.  i would still be with Ciro, maybe.  many things, would still and no-longer be.

maybe.

***

last night over a perfect dinner, Geoff challenged us all to decide what this summer is going to be "about."  much was thrown in the mix for consideration:  latin (as in salsa and meringue, not pluribus and unum); food (always an easy one), food cooked by Emiliano (even better); and confusion (my personal favorite).

tonight -- winding down on a day of insalata di farro, laundry, tea, and watching-the-cat -- it feels like it could be a summer of trust and sunlight.


[nightingaleshiraz] [?]
[Via Montebello, Roma]
[domenica 29 giugno 2008 ore 23:52:11] []

trying to have my cake, trying to eat my cake, wondering if i should find the antacids...

i want to shoot the half-dozen financial vultures out of the sky, once and for-effing-all.  i want to do it with work that i enjoy, with work that enjoys me.  i want to find time to repaint the apartment.  i want to make ceviche again.  i want to spend a weekend in Siracusa.  i want to watch Aida at Caracalla.  i want this -- all this stuff i am managing to keep in the air  -- i want it to lift me up along with.  i want the ride and i'm willing to pay my fare.

i want the ride.


[nightingaleshiraz] [?]
[Via Montebello, Roma]
[giovedý 12 giugno 2008 ore 12:10:16] []