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today i am tired.
i am tired of hotel climate control, tired of not being able to cook my own pasta, tired of every single damn Mumbaikar who cannot stop telling me how wonderful and amazing this city is (and don't get me wrong, i'm sure it may be, i am just sick of the hyper-enthusiastic hardsell that makes even a Karachi comb-seller look apathetic). i am tired of the hospital and its exceptionally high concentration of misery -- exceptionally high even for this city. i am tired of people trying too hard to help -- of trying to figure out how to tell them, could you just give us some space? i am tired of the ICC Cricket World Cup, of Bob Woolmer's murder and Shakira's concert and Abhiash's (cough-snort) wedding and Shilpa Shitty's [sic] midriff -- all fighting for room in papers that can't seem to spell right. i am even tired of smoked salmon. (and don't get me started on Indian wine.) i am tired of trying to figure out how i will get another Indian visa when this one expires. i am tired of books with crooked print, books about cancer and chemotherapy, books about palliative care, books about how many months my father has.
i am tired enough to finally write.
***
but.
there is not a moment when i would rather be anywhere else than where i am right now. there is not a moment when i am not completely aware, that out of all the people in this hotel-room, i have the fewest reasons, to be tired.
[nightingaleshiraz] [?]
[ITC Hotel Grand Central Sheraton & Towers, Mumbai]
[monday 26 march 2007 at 13:36:30] [¶]
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i sit in the hotel bar, trying to take an hour off from Being Perfect (or at least, from Being My Version Of Perfect).
because it's Friday night, there seem to be more people here, than there have been all week, put together.
this is my first time in India.
(care factor, as Demetri would say, is *so* zero.)
i cannot think of a thing to write.
on Skype, Erica tells me to record Bombay-speak, so i can carry it back for her. she reminds me to look for glass bangles, and for magic laddus, and every once in a while, for myself.
i am trying (right this minute, in fact). but it's hard to be interested in anything. it's hard to *want* to be interested in anything.
[nightingaleshiraz] [?]
[ITC Hotel Grand Central Sheraton & Towers, Mumbai]
[friday 16 march 2007 at 19:40:38] [¶]
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